I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
