just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
