Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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