we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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