I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
