We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
