i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
