like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
