meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
