No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
