i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just had sex bonerless
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
