Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize