so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize