So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
