i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
