You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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