I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize