I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
