I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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