i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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