so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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