My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't want my vagina anymore.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
