the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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