The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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