She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
