You can't motorboat a personality
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize