i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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