you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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