i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
