you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
