Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
