I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All the doctor said was why
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
