I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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