This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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