worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
