Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
