Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
