woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
