i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
