so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
