No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
