we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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