i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
no more duck duck goose at the bar
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize