please come you make the beer taste better
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
