How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
