So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
