its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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