come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
