He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
