he shaved USA in his pubs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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