Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We got so high we made milksteak
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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