my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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