The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize