Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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