it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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