I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
