She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
