Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
