Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
