Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
