Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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